"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference"

So, the past few weeks have really been taking a toll on me. I started a 2nd job, not because we need the money, but because it was the only postion that was open in a facility I have been trying to get into for about 3 years...I finish classes this past week for the summer--I barely passed my class..but, I DID IT! Now I get a 6 week break. My parents have finally (for then billionth time) have decided to end their 20-ish year long marriage. My 13 year old is visiting for the summer (you'd think she was next in line for a daytime Emmy...)And my husband and I are starting the adoption process for him to adopt my 5 year old daughter. WHEW...

I like to be in control. What can I say. I'm used to it. So, when my mom told me what was going on at her house, I took it upon myself to help her carry the burden of her failed marriage. She moved 3 hours away to be with family, and James and I opened our home to my 16 year old brother. As of right now, he is only here for the summer, but that might change...the jury is still out on that one. He doesn't do much of anything..good or bad. He sleeps, eats, and poops..kinda like a REALLY tall toddler that is potty trained.

This past weekend was an extremely hard one for me. I was told by the courts to try to contact and locate Isabella's biological father to see if he would sign the termination of parental rights papers. Well, after much deliberation (with myself) I facebooked him. Yup, I send an inbox on facebook. Of course, I didn't think he would respond. I mean, it's been over 3 years since he has seen her, and probably about 4 years since he has even cared. Of course, he replied and pretty much told me that since he has "found God" he now wants to be a dad. Ummmm..can you say little too late!? Its had not to let it get to me. To know I have raised my daughter for 3 years by myself, I remarry and get my life back together and he comes flying in on his Bible thinking he is superior...why because he seen God..or has a sponsor? I came to a realization 3 years, 4 months, and 5 days ago. If I wanted to stay alive and give my daughter any kind of life--I needed to get out and run. RUN as far away as I possibly could and never look back. Now look at my life. I have a wonderful husband, 3 great kids, a decent job, a nice car, a roof over our heads, food on the table..and I finally am close to getting my college degree. What more could I ask for...?